Always - Season 1
by ffshellct
Summary: Season 1 - Angel gave up his humanity for Buffy, this is a world where it actually meant something, his sacrifice, was Buffy's life, and the lives of her kin. This is an A/U of events of Buffy/Angel after IWRY where Angel Investigations will take a more crucial role in events in Sunnydale. Set in S4/S1. B/A main pairing.
1. Prologue

**- _Always_ -**

 **Season 1**

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Without further adieu, i bring to you _**Always**_ my first fanfiction, it will be written with flashbacks, as well as First and Third POV, but consider it a rewrite of a lot of major plot points after Season 3 of Buffy, it will start in S4/S1. Be gentle, it's my first one.

 **Summary** : Angel gave up his humanity for Buffy, this is a world where it actually meant something, his sacrifice, was Buffy's life, and the lives of her kin. This is an alternate version of events of Buffy/Angel after IWRY where Angel Investigations will take a more crucial role in events in Sunnydale. **Buffy/Angel, Willow/Oz, Xander/Dawn(future), Doyle/Cordelia, Spike/Faith, Giles/Jenny, Wesley/Fred, Gunn/Anne, etc**

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 **I decided to have a go at writing my own fan fiction because I just wasn't happy with what happened to my favourite TV show, it should of ended at Season 5 like it was supposed to, the writing in S6 and S7 became worse and I won't even go into the travesty of the comics. Please don't shoot me it's just my personal opinion! Also no, this isn't about shipping wars, i may be more a Bangel fan but I love Spike's character, for example, but I don't like how they made him into pretty much an Angel lite.**

This will be long story consisting of Seasons.

Season 1 is AU S4/S1. Because the story will be a long series, other pairings will be mentioned, like Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Spike or Willow/Tara for example, however the pairings you see listed above will be the final ones, Xander/Anya will happen for example, but won't be it by the entire stories end as you can see above. Other pairings will be dealt with respectfully and hopefully realistically, no complete Riley. Buffy/Spike won't have a love relationship, but things will happen.

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 **Notes:**

 **\- Dawn exists from the beginning of S4 instead of S5, she is still the key, i'm just bringing her in a season earlier to flesh out more of her relationship with those around her. For example, her and Angel have a close Sibling relationship because of his relationship with Buffy.**

 **\- Angels background will be explored more, and him being changed into a Vampire will be different somewhat in order to fit in with what I have planned for the story, however he still will be changed by Darla in an alleyway, you will just have to read to find out more!**

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 **Disclaimer** : These characters and the world belong to Joss and whoever owns the rights, not me, i'm afraid, if they did it would end up very differently.

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\- _**Prologue -**_

A bright light flashed in front of him, burning his retina's, he felt like a Vampire again, edging closer to the sun. ' **I'm in** ' he thought, he idly wondered if this is how Icarus felt, flying too close to the sun, although, he thought bitterly, no wings to burn, i'm no Angel.

"You again." Unamused, that's how it sounded.

"What have you brought me?"

"Familia Rose Vase, Qing dynasty, circa 1811." A priceless antique, one he couldn't wait to be rid of for sure, how he acquired it was….. best forgotten, but now it could serve a better purpose.

"Lovely…"

"Why are you **here** lower being?"

Where to begin.

"The Mohra Demon said the End of Days was coming, that would more would be coming, soldiers of darkness?"

The woman dared to look up from her shiny new trinket at him, but the male did not move a muscle, his eyes piercing through him, the faintest smirk on his lips.

"I need to know… was he telling the truth?"

"As far as such things can be told" Great. Vagueness, I guess I shouldn't of expected anything less, aren't they the good guys? Shouldn't they be more forthcoming with information?

This wasn't good, suffice to say the Mohra was strong, an assassin for the dark side, born and bred to strike down warrior's of light, if more of them, or indeed, anything like them, swept through a city, they wouldn't leave much in their wake.

"What… what happens to the slayer and her kin when these soldiers come?"

The female took her moment to come forward, "What happens to all mortal beings? Albeit… sooner, in their case"

Buffy, Joyce.. Giles, Willow? Xander? No... "...They'll die"

My undead heart sank, suffice to say in my mortal state, i wasn't protecting anyone, i wasn't helping anyone, I can't let this be the end for them… for **her**. Not after today.

"Then i'm here to beg for their.. her, life." There, it was out in the open.

"It is not our place to grant life and death" They turned to leave, panic swept in, this couldn't be it, it couldn't.

"Then i ask you to take mine back!"

It felt like an eternity, a statement left to linger in the air and permeate the room. They eventually turned to face me, i couldn't read their emotions.

"You're asking to be what you were… a demon with a soul..." Wonder, and disbelief. "...because of the slayer?" Now she said it, it sounded crazy, a vampire with a soul sacrificing what may be his only human redemption, for a vampire slayer.

"Oh this is a matter of love, it does not concern us." He was right, it was, but they didn't need to know that.

"Yes it is! The demon came to take a warrior from your cause.. and it succeeded, i'm no good to you like this…... I know you have it your power to make this right, **please**." I don't care how desperate I sounded, right now, there was only one thing on my mind, I couldn't let Buffy suffer, maybe die alone, surrounded by what could be dead friends, dead family, not if I could help it.

Resigned, the male forced out a whisper "What is done cannot be undone"

"What is not **yet** done, can be avoided"

"Temporal folds are not to indulge the.. the **whims** of lower beings"

"You are **wrong** , this one.. Is willing to sacrifice every drop of human happiness and love he's ever known for others… for another, he is not a lower being"

If my heart would soon stop beating again, that would be sure to keep it warm. She made it sound like the ultimate sacrifice, something to be praised, something to consider carefully. For me, it was the easiest decision i've ever had to make, nothing was ever simple when it came to me and Buffy, but my life, for hers? I would give a thousand times over.

"...There is one way, but it is not to be undertaken lightly." Baited breath.

"We swallow this day, as though it never happened, 24 hours from the moment the demon first attacked you, we take it back…" I swallowed hard.

"Then none of this happened… Buffy and I? But.. what'll stop us from doing the exact same thing?"

"You. You alone will carry the memory of this day… can you carry that burden?"

I wasn't sure I could, to carry around the memory of the one thing I had, and voluntarily gave up, knowing that she would likely move on, live a happy life without me….

But, she would be **alive** , and for Angel, that was more than enough.

"Yes, I can." No hesitation, for brief a moment Angel recognised what could look like.. admiration, in the Oracles faces, before it was quickly swept aside for emotionless apathy once again.

The male one just had to remark. "You're a curious one warrior, this is not the first time we have been privy to such requests, but yours is the first not born of selfishness. We do not usually entertain such mortal foolishness." Great, what a champion I am, god i'm going to miss this day.

"But then, you aren't quite mortal, are you, you haven't earned it yet, and until that day, you won't consider yourself worthy of mortality." She was… exactly right, as much as I would love to fool myself that I deserved Buffy and this mortal life, the white picket fence and the children playing outside… I didn't, and I certainly didn't deserve it if I allowed Buffy to fight alone whilst I sat back eating strawberries and cream.

"For what it's worth warrior, you have our respect, and trust us, it's worth a lot" That was something, I guess…

"Is that it?"

"Well.. that depends on you" Great, more vagueness.

"What do you mean?"

"As we said, we do not normally entertain these requests, what is meant to be is meant to be, everyone's fate may be set in stone, but destiny is not, you know this better than anyone… Who knew that a demon would find himself with a soul and fighting for the Powers That Be."

I must of looked confused, just what were they getting at. I was starting to understand just how annoying it must be to everyone, being that 'cryptic' guy, I let myself give a small smile, I know **she** would get annoyed.

"Your destiny was altered by the Kalderash, your destiny was altered by the curse, by love. This is something that could not have been forseen, and because of this, the destiny of others was changed, the fate of others was sealed…. You know of whom I speak, do you not"

There was only one person I could think of.

The female smiled "I see that you do… Your demon sealed her fate when it was not her time, changed the destiny of the Watcher, of the Slayer"

By this point Angel was speechless, ashamed by what had happened, confused about what was happening right now.

The male noticed this, "The life of a warrior is worth more than a… lower being, a mortal, you gave your life for the slayers, but we will allow you to give it for another too….. So… who do you choose?"

They turned to walk away, perfectly in step.

And like a whisper on the breeze Angel said...

"Jenny Calendar."

Then the bright light engulfed him once more.

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" _A minute!? No! No it's not enough time"_

" _We don't have a choice, it's done"_

" _How am i supposed to go on with my life, knowing what we had, what we could of had.."_

" _You won't.. know one will know but me…"_

" _It never happened."_

" _It did! It did! I know it did!"_

" _...I felt your heart beat"_

" _Buffy"_

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" _Oh god, it's not enough time"_

" _Shh sshh, please, Buffy, please, sshh"_

" _I'll never forget"_

" _I'll never forget"_

" _I'll never forget"_

" _I'll never forget"_

" _I'll never…"_

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" _So let's just stick to the plan… keep our distance until our time has past"_

" _Given enough time we should be able to.."_

" _Forget"_

" _Yeah"_

" _..so, i'm gonna go, start forgetting"_

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" _That was unreal…. How did you know how to kill it? ?"_

" _It's a Mohra demon... I uh, had alot of time to catch up on my reading"_

" _Yeah, okay"_

" _So I guess we've covered it right"_

" _I guess we did"_

" _And that's all there really is to say…"_

…

" _Yeah… that's it"_

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 **TBC**


	2. Chapter 1 - Rebirth

**\- Always -**

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 **Summary** : Angel gave up his humanity for Buffy, this is a world where it actually meant something, his sacrifice, was Buffy's life, and the lives of her kin. The Oracles are impressed with Angel's sacrifice and grant life to someone else. This is an alternate version of events after IWRY where Angel Investigations will take a more crucial role in Sunnydale's events. **B/A Main.**

 **Set** \- post Something Blue / pre Hush

 **Disclaimer** : These characters and the world belong to Joss and whoever owns the rights, not me, i'm afraid, if they did it would end up very differently.

 **Side Note** \- Please excuse me whilst I get used to the formatting and such, with this chapter i'll have no doubt reuploaded the Prologue by now in order to format it as it should be.

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 _ **\- Chapter 1 -**_

Let it be known that Rupert Giles was nothing if not a patient man.

Some might say **too** patient. Oh sure he had his moments, where 'Ripper' was just aching to break from his monotonous tweed clad exterior and let people get a piece of his mind. Today was not one of those days, infact Giles found himself enjoying the tranquility of today, the right now, without the Scooby Gang around the cacophony of teenage melodrama and angst was absent and he could enjoy the simple pleasures of life; Now that he had his eyesight back, ' _A cup of bovril and a good book_ ' didn't sound like such a bad idea..

A wistful smile came to Giles face, remembering the time he had shared this with Buffy, 'you need a personality, stat.' Ah yes, she was a bag of quips and puns that one. He allowed himself to think about his slayer for a moment, he felt for her like a weary father would care for a daughter, wanting to take away all of the pain, and yet unable to do so, he wasn't sure if this was because he was only a watcher, or because he was unable to relate to a 18 year old girl.

Today's phone conversation came to the forefront of his mind.

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"Ah, Willow, a-are you alright?"

"Hey Giles, yeah, i'm fine, just checking up on you, kinda missing those study sessions in the library you know.."

"Yes of course, I-i'm fine, just… wiling away the dull hours, waiting on the next apocalypse to come"

"Let's hope there's one soon! Wait, no, scratch that, I didn't mean.."

"It's okay Willow, the only apocalypse I envision involves me and a load of musty old books to sort, too many and too little space i'm afraid." Giles sighed.

"So you managed to save quite a few from the library?" Willow was hopeful, after all, there were some real treasures she didn't get a chance to read

"Yes, well, how else would I 'get my books, look stuff up."

Willow laughed. "You know we wouldn't have it any other way, though…. I miss us all being together, the study dates, the hacking, oh and the averting of mortal danger on a regular basis."

"You guys are always welcome here, W-we may not have the Library anymore but my door is always open. It's... not in my official capacity to be Watcher anymore, and Buffy has more than earned her.. stripes, as it were, but i'm going nowhere."

Willow smiled. "I know Buffy will appreciate you being here, you know how much she thinks of you."

Giles detected a hint of softness in her voice. "Y-yes well, how is she doing? Still….?" The question hung in the air.

"Broody? Yup, it's like Angel transferred his Broodiness into her and now she's all… Super Broody, like a Super Broody Buffy, a Broodffy…" Giles momentarily tensed at the mention of the Vampire with a soul but his eyes were full of mirth with Willow using what he would call ' _Xanderisms_ '.

"Ah yes, Willow, I-i think I got it. I can't say it is unexpected, she has to deal with things on an emotional level, in time she will forget, a-as will he and then, things may get a semblance of normalcy… as much as can be expected on a Hellmouth and given their rather, unique situation."

Willow was sullen. "But Giles you should see her… She's still upset, I know she is, she tries to hide it but her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes, it's like she is lost. Though maybe this guy she's been talking to can... bring her back to being not lost. Path Buffy, that's my favourite kind."

"Riley yes? Perhaps. To be frank Willow, I just want Buffy to be happy, Angel, for all his faults, does make her happy but he also tends to have the opposite effect. I'm afraid that's how it is for them, they were doomed from the start, her a slayer, him a vampire… Fate's cruel irony I suppose, hm."

"What do you mean Giles?" Willow was curious as to what Giles was getting at, Willow considered herself leader of the B&A fan club, they had hats and t-shirts and everything, she was rooting for Buffy and Angel all the way, but if they couldn't be together, she could hope that at least they could find some solace apart from each other.

"W-well, we live on a Hellmouth, you should know yourself from experience that anything is possible… Do you know just how rare 'perfect happiness' is Willow? It's virtually unheard of, in our world or the other. Adding to that, do you know just how nigh on impossible it is to find your soul mate in life or death? Any documented cases are spotty at best, but in all my research I believe that this is the situation we found ourselves intwined in."

"Giles I'm not sure what point you are trying to make."

"Well, let me put it this way, there are over 6 billion people on the earth, what are the chances that a slayer, and a vampire with a soul, should meet together in the same place, with the same goal, that they should fall in love, with all it's up's and down's, that they would feel each other when they are apart… Need I go on?"

"You're saying that it was no accident, that they were… fated to meet?"

"Precisely, it's true what I said earlier that given time apart they may forget, even move on, date others, but it will never be off the table with them, their souls will constantly call out for it's counterpart, like a dull ache that will never subside, until they are whole, together, they can never truly be themselves, and will be prone to various emotional states. It's not the same for us… regular folk, we may fall in love, we may have children and get married, grow old together, but never ever find our soulmate. Yet they found there's, brought together, and not by chance I believe. There's a higher power at work here, I think we need just to let it take it's course, f-for the time being anyway, or at least until we have more information."

"...wow, Giles that's… wow. I just wish they didn't have to suffer so much, if it's how you say it is, then why can't they be happy together, why can't…"

"Things… rarely work out that way Willow, in all my experience, things happen for a reason, the only thing we can do is be there for Buffy right now, let things take it's course, eventually they will find their way back to each other, that is my belief. We haven't heard the last of them." Though Giles wasn't too sure how he felt about this.

"Giles I didn't know you were such a romantic, I hope you are right, because if what you say is true, nobody else will complete them, not Riley or otherwise… but for you to say what you have, you must really love Buffy, i mean I know you aren't the biggest fan of Angel, n-not that you don't have a reason to be I just…"

"It's okay Willow… No I am not the biggest fan of Angel, truth be told I bloody hate the man, thing, after…. what happened, but I have long tried to distinguish the man from the violent animal that did those awful things, for Buffy's sake, if nothing else. Although I would prefer it if he didn't leave our slayer an emotional wreck as often as he does, still, soulmates and all that, i'm sure she does the same to him."

Willow laughed, her respect for Giles couldn't get any higher if he tried. "Trust me I know, Cordelia phoned and left a message talking about how whirlwind Buffy came into town again and… Oh! Buffy's back Giles, i'll speak to you soon okay. Bye"

"Bye Willow, send her my love won't you."

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Giles idly mused in his chair, Willow was the sweetest girl, he missed them all, he missed his library, as Willow had mentioned, most of all he missed **her** , but that was of the past, it was time to move forward.

The subject of Angel always brought with him a sense of dread, he remembered his first encounter with the vampire with a soul who captured Buffy's heart. Even he could admit he was a good looking… thing, 'Face of an Angel indeed', he had a tendency to be split down the middle with his feelings, that part he thought of earlier, the Ripper inside, hungry, despairing, hated Angel with every fiber of his being, he wanted his revenge, he wanted to see him suffering, wanted to condemn him to a life of sin and torture in hell.

The more rational side of Giles knew that he had to separate the demon from the soul, it was not Angel that poisoned the mind of Buffy and everyone around, Angel proved time and time again, even after his return from hell, that he was an invaluable ally, potentially a friend, and that he would do anything for Buffy. It was just cruel that he shared the same face as Angelus, the otherwise sycophantic, evil and cruel side of the two beings that inhabited that man's body. He knew that **she** wouldn't of wanted him to hold a grudge against a soul that regretted everyday the actions his demon had taken in his absence.

' _What an inefficient curse_ ' he thought, pursing his lips in even deeper thought, if possible. Buffy had mentioned of the Acathla incident that Angel hadn't remembered anything he'd done. The gypsy's idea of revenge was to punish an innocent being with the actions of a demon that killed for the sport, to see what artistic masterpieces he could create next. Fate just seemed to be crueler and crueler to those two.

Giles knew that eventually he would have to come to fully accept Angel for what he was, and what he wasn't, it would take time, and with not seeing him everyday, he might come to know some peace and could treat Angel with at least some respect, and not contempt. But this day was not here, not yet, not whilst he and Angelus bore the same face, and that wasn't changing anytime soon.

His thought's were interrupted by the loud screeching of a kettle, he'd almost forgot he put it on, he was parched, and a good cup of the old stuff was what he needed right now. All these thoughts of Buffy, Angel and the rest of the gang were clouding his mind, although it was not like he needed the head-space at the moment, what space remained had Jenny nestled safely there, she had her own bed, toothbrush, everything, moved in to stay.

He would come back to the Buffy and Angel thought train another time, although what he'd told Willow earlier in the day rang true, he had seen it long before those 2 had, that there was something there, though maybe they didn't realise how deep their connection ran until it was too late and Angelus was unleashed upon the world again. They would find their way to each other again, whether they knew it or not, their fate was intertwined, ' _since birth_ ', he surmised that even the turning of Angel into a vampire was something preordained years before, all to lead him and Buffy together in the here and now, for a reason, a reason that would no doubt reveal itself in time.

He poured the hot water into his favourite mug, it slightly disgusted him knowing Spike had used it recently for something far less palatable for his taste buds, but alas, he did not have many options, too tired to wash up, stuck in the rut of a mid life crisis some may call it, though he liked to think it was the bachelor's lifestyle, a callback to his rebellious youth. Nobody said he had to be the 'sniveling, tweed clad guardian' 24/7 after all.

A loud thud outside interrupted Giles first burning sip of the hot liquid. He had hoped it was nothing but moments later a slow, rhythmic tapping on his door…

"Hello…?"

No answer. He didn't fancy taking on whatever was behind that door, he'd had enough for one week what with bears, false engagements, blindness and werewolf trysts... and without Buffy here it could be too much for him to handle on his own.

"Who's there?"

Again, no answer, Giles contemplated just ignoring it, but again, the rhythmic tapping at his door continued. He couldn't really ignore it forever, and it seemed that whatever was out there wasn't going away anytime soon.

"Listen I don't know what you want but i'm not really in the mood for guests right now."

He idly wandered over to the door mid sentence and began to open it, teacup in one hand, doorknob in the other.

"How can I he…."

The words died in his mouth and his pupils dilated as he looked down at the shape of a person on the ground.

"R-Rupert."

The only noise to break the sweet silence was of a mug, smashing into as many tiny pieces of Giles heart, as it fell to the ground forgotten.

Let it also be known, there was never a quiet day on the Hellmouth.

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 **CHAPTER 1 / END**


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